Tag Archives: Aging

Moving Forward

Recently, in our lives there have been many things to grieve, divorce, death, relationships, world problems and the current state of America.

We aren’t going to offer an opinion on the world’s problems or America; politics or otherwise. We’ll leave it to the media and the internet to misinform you.

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It seems as we age that sorrow comes into our lives more often. We shed more tears, reminisce more often, sit alone in silence. It may seem odd to find joy in grief, but it is usually there nonetheless.

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Both Sherry and I have lost both parents; we both took care of our aging parents at one point. If at first this seemed somewhat of a burden, in the end in it was a blessing. It allowed them to stay in their homes surrounded by the things and people they loved, letting them be at peace.

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For us, the gift was the ability to move forward in our relationships with them, seeing them not so much as a parent but as a friend. I’ve always felt that it helped me to repay the years that they devoted to me even though they did not expect any payment.

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In divorce, after grieving your loss, there is a sense of freedom, a re-bonding with yourself and friends that may have been neglected along the way.  Your bond with your children changes as they see you in a different light.

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There is pain in loss and we are all entitled to experience it. Feel, bemoan, embrace your grief and when you are ready actively seek out the joy that your loved one, your ex-spouse, or ex-friend left in you. Rejoice in your memories and get out there and make more!

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Here’s to a happy life! 🍾

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MaryBeth & Sherry

 

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How to Survive the Big M

Yep! We’re talking menopause.

While researching menopause causes, symptoms and the treatment/prevention of the aforementioned, we’ve come to certain inevitable conclusions:

There is no known prevention for menopause. We know, we know, for the most part we don’t mind the end result of menopause, but, by golly, isn’t there a way to avoid the discomfort? Nope, just like exercise, we got to go through it to get to the end result.

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After thorough Internet research, here’s what we’ve learned.

 

Anything and everything you eat may or may not cause hot flashes.
Anything and everything you eat may or may not cause insomnia.
Anything and everything you eat may or may not cause joint pain.
Anything and everything you eat may or may not cause night sweats.
Anything and everything you eat may or may not cause mood swings.
Anything and everything you eat may or may not cause weight gain.

Okay, now that every man has groaned and uttered “Ewwww” and left this blog, let’s talk turkey.

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Sorry to say menopause appears to be a fact of life for most women. And if you think about it, for their partners. They enjoy it vicariously through us. You’re welcome. Did you all honestly think we were going to go through this without you?

(Insert evil laugh here)

Okay, we are done laughing and back to this blog.

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As you can see by our bullet points above, the best thing you can do is avoid eating or drinking anything and everything. Difficult, we agree, but think of your waistline!

Based on the fact that we enjoy eating and drinking, we’ve decided to put together our own list of do’s and don’ts.

How to avoid or lessen the symptoms of menopause.

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Do go through menopause with a buddy or two. This is the safest way. Keep your buddy on speed dial for emergency texts and calls.
Don’t decide for your buddy what they can and can not eat. This prevents injury to yourself and others.
Do go out with your girlfriends and laugh. This eases any and all symptoms
Do go out with your girlfriends and their significant others. The sympathetic nods amongst the significants makes them feel like part of the team. (Did we just call menopause a team sport?)

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Do live near a nice cold swimming pool, lake or ocean. Do feel free to take a plunge at anytime. Do not feel free to do so naked. Alternate solution: Keep your bathtub full of cold water at all times – Do feel free to take this plunge naked.
Do take anyone who says “oh c’mon, it’s not that bad!”, to a local sauna, sit with them until they get up to leave, pull them back down and say “nope,not done yet” and “oh c’mon, it’s not that bad!”

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We sincerely hope this helps .

Read this book for more humor on Menopause .

menopause sucks

And this one for safe and natural ways to balance your hormones.

Dr

 

Here’s to a Happy Life!

MaryBeth & Sherry

Visit our sister site : Calming Interiors

 

For Love of Family

We’ve reached that phase where life starts to come full circle. Whereas you used to take your children to your parents for baby-sitting now they bring their children to you. And just like you did, they give you instructions on how to care for your grandbabies. It doesn’t matter than you managed to raise them pretty darn good, their way is the formula you must follow now, or at least until your children are out of earshot!

The first time we watched our granddaughter, my step-son gave us very clear instructions. We were to hold her on our shoulder and walk continuously as this is what she preferred. If on the off-chance she fell asleep, we could sit, but under no circumstances were we to allow her to see or hear the TV. (Boy, did she have them trained!)

Now we have 2!

Now there are 2!

We willingly obliged, right up until their car pulled out of the driveway. Then we sat, talked and cooed to this wondrous little doll until she fell asleep in Papa’s lap. At that point we turned on the TV, relaxed and watched. Naturally, as soon as we heard the doorbell ring, signaling her parents return, we shut off the TV, arranged that precious bundle on a shoulder, walking to the front door as if we’d been walking for hours.

Precious little fairies

Precious little fairies

Another sign of life’s circles is to us the tougher one. The caring for aging parents. I helped care for my Dad for 7 years before he passed. This journey is at time frustrating and unwelcome, other times it’s laughter and joy. At all times, for us, it is an act of love. Caring for aging parents can seem like a labyrinth for which there is no exit and a new surprise at every turn.

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Often, there is anger from your parent because the tables are turned, they start to feel like the child and you the parent. It doesn’t take much of a stretch of the imagination to understand why this is so difficult for them. If there is a defined illness or pain, they become irritated with new regimes and medications. Your parents feel the lack control and they have to idea how to get it back. There might be a loss of activities with their contemporaries, making them feel isolated and confined. If their journey includes dementia, Alzheimer’s, memory or cognitive loss of any kind, they may not understand what’s truly going on.

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Coming from that perspective helped me to better understand my Dad’s disposition and make an effort to focus on laughter and helping him take part in those things he could still enjoy. Being surrounded by his family made him the happiest.

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All in all, being on this side of the circle (yes, the older side, haha!) is one of the most rewarding parts of your family life, helping you to see your parents in a joyful new light, having your children as friends and allowing you to spoil your grandchildren. Actually, there’s no reason you can’t also spoil your parent at this time, I know mine certainly deserved it.

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How do you or your family deal with this new aspect of life? Let us know in the comments, you may help someone else gain new perspective.

Here’s to a Happy Life! 🍻

IMG_1970 MaryBeth & Sherry

No Last Good-bye

As I post this, I wonder what to title it? What to call a blog in memoriam?

I was sitting in the dentist’s waiting room this morning and decided take advantage of his free WiFi. I did the usual email, weather, Facebook. It was on FB that I saw the obituary. My first thought was “No! that can’t be who I think it is!” It was.

Although we weren’t good friends, I had known her for almost 30 years. Barely 2 months ago, S and I were shopping in a craft store when we ran into her. We had a lovely chat, my sister dated her brother, she thought her brother was silly to let my sister go, she taught in my children’s elementary school and asked about them. She did tell me she was having some medical difficulties, but skimmed over them. She wasn’t going to dwell there. As you can imagine, seeing her obituary was a bit of a shock.

It reminds me of all the people I have known. I often think I’ll see them again. We’ll laugh and reminisce a bit. I have tried to make a habit of saying thank you as we part. A few words of gratitude for what they have meant to me, for the gift of their presence in my life.

I am only 58-years-old, more and more I hear of friends passing. It just doesn’t seem possible. They are much too young. There is so much more they planned to do. S and I are always making plans, for road trips, for lunch, for so many things. I tease my sister, when we are old, she will drive and I will navigate, and eventually, we’ll get there. I get the purple hair, she’ll take blue and you can be damn sure, I will have a blinged out cane!

When I see someone who had died so young, I know it’s time to quit making plans and start executing them.

So to you my friend, thank you for your smile, your laughter, and your dedication to children. Yours was definitely a life well-lived. May God bless you.

I sit here quietly, smiling; not only because of my memories of a friend but for all the things in life that have passed, both good and bad. Both were part of the journey. It has been a wonderful journey so far.

Again, I am reminded to let go of the petty little details and embrace the joy, the laughter, the love. Life really is too short and often there is no last good-bye.

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Habits

I have gained 10 lbs in the last 6 months and I have GOT to get them off.  I am going to New York next week for a real estate conference and “I have NOTHING to wear!!!”  10 lbs and I feel like a sausage in my clothes. :(.

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Why is diet and exercise sooooo difficult?  I love tasty food, that’s why… Oh, and it’s cold outside so I don’t want to walk, that’s my other excuse. I don’t and won’t do diets and fads. That just sets you up for a roller coaster ride on the weight scale and if that’s not depressing, don’t know what is…

I know what I should be eating, I know what I should be doing exercise wise but, I don’t. Then I am angry with myself and feel yucky.  The sad thing is I feel really good when I am exercise and eating right. Why do I do this to myself?

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Because I haven’t made it a habit.  It takes a month or two to make something a habit. Most people give up after a couple of weeks (like me) because it’s too much work or it’s too difficult. What it boils down to is that it is change and we are all “creatures of habit”.

Habits, good or bad that we’ve already created over the years. So we have to put a plan together to change just one thing and then add to it. If you try to change too much at one time. You are setting yourself up to not follow through. That being said, I am going for my walk.  🙂

Man that was cold!… But, I did it, I’m still alive and I’ve started a habit!
By the way, if you are in Colorado, the Fireman’s park in Arvada is a cute place to take the kids/grandkids.  My nephews love it 🙂

Damn that Wild Hair!

S and I had a hysterical conversation the other day about that frickin’ single facial hair that pops up so randomly, the one we like to call The Wild Hair. Yes, we do crack ourselves up!

Do we all have them? That one hair that grows independently on some odd spot on your face. Usually the most noticeable spot. Is it really that noticeable to others or is it that once we figure out its there we fixate on it?

Sure, we have every intention of plucking it, but until we get back to our tweezers and a mirror, what’s a girl to do?

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The smart thing would be to ignore it, haha! Instead we touch it, focus on it, pull at it and more.

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We suspect men only get that wild hair in their eyebrows. At least that’s where we notice them. Women? Not so lucky. They sprout wherever they please, on your chin, your upper lip, middle of your cheek? No problem, the wild hair is always happy to oblige especially if you are heading to an important engagement.

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The wild hair loves to stand out, therefore it generally comes in thicker, longer and coarser than all the others. What better way to be noticed, not only by yourself but by everyone who comes close to you.

Which brings us back to the question, do others really notice or have we become obsessive about it? Someone once told us, “It’s just part of you, an addition to your personality.”

You’re kidding right? Looking like the evil witch from Hansel and Gretel or Snow White’s apple bearer adds to my personality? Cue the warts? Thanks a lot.

Truly, how did this wild hair become so prominent in our lives that we actually have conversations and write blogs about them?

Another menopause mystery…

http://www.tweezerman.com/store/catalog/brows/moreway/way-kits/

Women In Black

We read an article today that stated “Women of a certain age should not wear black.” The gist of
the article was that as we age we should start wearing bright colors. Black highlights our
wrinkles and crepe-y skin.

Yes, well, writers of certain articles should probably refrain from telling me or anyone else what
to wear. You don’t know us. We like black. MB likes to wear a bright color and then a top layer of
black. S, being tall and thin (something MB envies),  can wear whatever she likes, some days she likes bright colors, others black. So what! The important thing is that we feel good about ourselves.

Aren’t we supposed to wear black for its slimming and classic effects? If you like bright colors, go for it! If you feel more comfortable in black, then by all means, knock yourself out!

There’s an old saying, if you wear it long enough it will come back in style. Our girls have worn clothing that is a spin on the same stuff we used to wear. S’s daughter even told her that she wishes S would have saved some of her stuff when she tells her “had that…wore that”

We would both rather buy just a few of the items that are “in style” and then mix and match them with what we have. We all have the classic favorites that we get complements on, why wouldn’t we wear those?! Don’t know about you, but we’re always fishing for compliments!

We do have to say, however, that men do not get the” what to wear at your age” articles. Probably because advertisers are aware that men don’t care and aren’t going to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. We think as women we need to work on this. Like we have said in other articles, we need to be happy where we are and not trying to keep up. There are so many good things about where we are in our lives right now!
PS – In all fairness –Men will buy any new technology on the market! But that’s a whole different conversation. Haha!

The outfit above is a particular favorite. fashionistatrends.com

Your Hair, Your Choice

Have we all had a Mom that cut our hair into a “pixie” because it was the style and she was tired of combing the knots out of it? We have and we have shed many a tear over it.

MB’s brother had a bright idea when they were 4 and 5. He’d give her a sucker if she agreed to him cutting her hair. When she looked in the mirror, talk about tears! All her luxurious long curls, gone! We are sure most of you have had a similar experience.

Women and their hair are tightly entwined. So much of who we think we are ties into to our hair. And yet, someone else always tries to dictate what you should do with your hair. It’s personal! Let us decide what makes us feel good. And no more tying aging to hair style.

We are so glad that we are getting out of the thought process that when you get older, you cut your hair short.  We really think that you should wear the hair that looks good on you at any age.  If you have always had short hair and like it, then you should wear it that way.  Same for long. In conversations with men we have learned that they don’t understand this phenomenon. They don’t think a woman has to cut her hair just because she is older, We like those men.  We have always had long hair and until it thins out or, maybe we can’t raise our arms high enough to fix it, we’re staying with it.  We can’t do a lot about the wrinkles, but, we can keep our hair long, our nails done oh, and our minds and bodies active!  Come on four out of five ain’t bad!

http://beauty.about.com/od/hairstylingtipstricks/ss/Gorgeous-Gray-Hair_13.htm#step-heading?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=shareurlbuttons_nip

All your comments are gratefully appreciated.

Free the Spirit, Fight the Wrinkles

If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old. ~ James A. Garfield

As you grow older, you fight for somethings like your family and friends, you give up on others, like wrinkles and an aging body. Our spirits revel in people, emotions, celebration and not things. Oh but those wrinkles. You look in the mirror and think – “Who is that!?!” As you go through your day, the picture you see in your mind of you is wrinkle-free. Crow’s feet? Those are for someone else, not me! Lip lines and sagging and gray hair, oh my!

There’s an old saying, if you want to know how old someone is, look at their hands. Well, damn, it’s true. We’re still young enough that we can place our hands so they look wrinkle free. The drawback of leaving our hands at this angle is that eventually they will cramp. You know exactly what we’re talking about ladies! What is up with that? Not to mention that people may start looking at us strangely. What are they looking at? It’s a personal anti-aging technique.

Ok, you secretly wish you didn’t have to give up but the alternative is to go “under the knife.” Because let’s face it, you can use all the wrinkle lotions you want but once they are there… ! It might be in our best interest to nurture our spirit and quit worrying about the wrinkles. After all, we’ve earned every one and so have you.

Most everyone will tell you, a good diet, exercise and sun screen are the best medicines for aging woman.  Some celebrities would tell to keep a plastic surgeon on speed dial!

Wait, Wait, Wait, did we just refer to ourselves as aging women?

Did you ever notice that those people with a kind heart, a free spirit, or strong purpose rarely look their age. That’s what we are striving for; to stay young at heart and bold of purpose.

We are always looking for ways to fight wrinkles, yet, as we drift further into our 50’s, we are also looking for ways to continually nurture our spirits. And while this is a noble cause, we’d really like to nurture our spirit with younger looking faces. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Please help us – give us your ideas and thoughts on both of our goals.

Waiting For My Grandbaby

S is going to be a Grandma!

My daughter is due with her first baby, like yesterday. Needless to say, she is now frustrated. The doctors tell her the baby will come when it’s ready. That’s obviously not what she wants to hear.

In all fairness, I went a week and a half over with her and so I feel her pain. Every day friends and family call or text her to ask if the baby is here yet. Which makes her even more frustrated, I try not to laugh because I am remembering how irritating that was.

I also have to admit that I keep wanting to know how she is because I am so excited to have a grand baby. What a weird feeling, very soon I am going to be a grandma.

Geez. Was it that long ago that I was rocking my kids to sleep, getting them ready for bed, getting them ready for school?I guess it has been. Oh well, time goes on but the good news is that I get a baby in the family that I get to hold and kiss and love and give back to mommy when it poos!!

Can’t wait :).

Anyone have any stories to tell on being a grandma? Would love to hear what to expect!!