Black Friday Barbarians

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Thanksgiving this year. I brined and cooked a large organic turkey last weekend at a family get-together, so today I am relaxing. There are a few family members coming over later for dessert and games. A perfect day.

For an awful lot of people Thanksgiving is a day to prepare and carb-load for late Thanksgiving night and Black Friday shopping. My question would be why? Why find yourself in a crush of bodies fighting for some gadget or toy?

Black Friday shopping epitomizes the fall of civilization; is our consumerism so rampant that we must trample, injure and fight with each other for a screaming deal?

Retailers have little or no regard for their employees to subject them to such inhumanity. This is a new age of barbarianism.

My neighbor, will call him Attila, is currently mapping out his strategy. He has Attila Jr. in football pads and helmet to run interference when the doors open. His darling daughter, Catherine the Great, is to enter the store and veer immediately to the right, enter the 3rd toy aisle, snag at least 2 if not 3 toy Kidswantmosts, then make a beeline for the cash registers, saving them all a place in line. Meanwhile, Attila and Attila Jr. will head straight to electronics for yet another 50” flat screen TV and the newest game console. Mrs. Mario Andretti Attila will wait in the car with the motor running; on Attila’s signal, she will floor it towards the front entrance, scoop up all three along with their purchases, put it in gear and hightail it out of there to the next store on their list.

In some ways, we should envy them, sometime between 2 a.m. and 8 a.m on Friday, November 28th, 2014, they will have completed their Christmas shopping and now can spend the month simply enjoying the holiday.

I don’t know S, that’s a thought. Do you think we should try it?

Nah, I’ll wait until cyber Monday. I prefer to practice consumerism from my easy chair.

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